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  Monday 14th November 2005  Sex   Powered by Yeast Logic
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John Terry 'sick as a parrot' after carpark romp

Chelsea ace fails to penetrate box
by Paparazzi O'Leery

Chelsea star John Terry is reported to be "sick as a parrot" after an carpark encounter with a 17-year-old blonde ended in simple fellatio and not the full-on rumpy-pumpy the footballing ace has come to expect.

John Terry: *** ****Just hours after sexy fan Jenny Barker (30D) cornered Terry to ask for his autograph, she had her laughing gear wrapped round his piece in the front of the star's Bentley after he suggestively texted her and her mate: "Oh my God I want to **** both of you, I want to watch you ******* each other’s ******* and ******** on my *** ****, then ******* me. I want one of you ****** me and the other ******* ** my ****. I’m gonna give you both the best ******* ever."

Shy Barker recalled how she was later whisked to a West London carpark for the romantic liason in Terry's Bentley: "He smiled and put on sexy Luther Vandross music from a selection on a huge screen in the car. Then he put my hand on his crotch. We were kissing and cuddling and he put my hand down his tracksuit bottoms and under his boxer shorts. One thing led to another but we did not have sex. I didn’t want to give in to him like I can imagine every other girl does."

An expert in football kiss-and-tells told The Rockall Times: "Jenny's restraint is a credit to the girl. Many other 17-year-olds would have been tempted to spread their legs like two-bit hussies within seconds of meeting Terry, exploring his muscular torso for what seemed like ages before filling her box with his Premiership cream and collapsing totally satisfied as a woman. Barker, on the other hand, restricted herself to taking a gobful of man juice from his hideously empurpled member before making her excuses and leaving."

A tabloid editor added: "I agree. It would have too easy to give into Terry as I imagine every other girl does. A quick blowjob leaves her virtue intact while allowing her to come away with enough of his DNA to command a sizeable cheque."

Previously

 Girls! Have you had sex with a celebrity?