Oz PM in trouser snake fake shocker

We don't get much email down here at The Rockall Times, well, apart from stuff beginning "Want a bigger Pen1s by Thursday?" and "This is without a doubt the most disgusting pile of..." You get the idea.

It's nice, then, to receive something from the Lucky Country, regarding our recent piece entitled Oz PM deports himself:

I must confess that I was shocked and appalled by your story of the things that are going on in the hallowed halls of Australian Parliament. To think we will have to pack up poor old Grandpa, Uncle Fritz and Auntie Stefania and send them all back home! So many questions come to mind? What is going to happen to the Ulladulla Fishing Fleet? Will there still be school cleaners? Will Bluescope Steel close down entirely?

But on another question, I feel under obligation to put something straight. I followed a link to another story about John Howard and let me tell you this:- however factual the reporting may be, that photo is utterly fraudulent. I can say for certain that it is NOT Little John's trouser snake that is represented. That is an Eastern-Brown Trouser Snake and the P.M. has the smaller and less deadly Pink-Bellied variety. Whatismore, the P.M., like most self-respecting male Australian Baby Boomers, is circumspect. Hope that this information is useful!

In All Sincerity

Delfeen Dooley

Glad we cleared that up. Now, here's something from Work 4 God, with the subject "would send you a death threat, but I'm a pacifist":

Hey there,

I read your article about the Jesus Christians and the debacle in Kenya.

Having known the Jesus Christians, and Roland Gianstefani for a number of years, I can vouch for the fact that most of the 'information' in that piece of writing was incorrect.

eg. members in Kenya leaving Kenya for Australia when Roland was in jail, Roland donating a kidney, and sterilisation being some kind of prerequisite for members, and that it relates to celibacy.

Satire is one thing (which I can enjoy), but bullshit is just bullshit. I would read more of your site if the stuff that was written was actually informed.

Informed by what, exactly? Reuters or Divine Missive delivered via angelic courier. You tell us.

Finally, a pedant writes:

Dear Sirs,

Your Style Guide, which is very accurate for the most part, makes one error in fact and that is when it discusses the proper way to refer to the P.M. Since he has been snogging behind the bike sheds with Dubya for years now and consistently backed up hare-brained U.S.foreign policy initiatives, the correct way to refer to him in a S.C. (Satirically Correct) publication is "Toady" Blair.

Yours Sincerely,

Humourless Ideologue
and all-round Very Opinionated Person (VOP)

P.S. By the way, you should have a Letters to the Editor section. If you don't get enough real mail that's suitable for publication, make some up, although I'm sure you get a few good ones at death-threats@therockalltimes.co.uk and hate-mail@therockalltimes.co.uk.

Probably so. Readers wishing to give it their two bits' worth are directed to our handy "How to complain about the material on the site" guide. Carry on.