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  Monday 19th December 2005  Society   Powered by Yeast Logic
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UK's first gay marriage: We attend the happy event

Bride and bride radiant in black and white
by How Tenji

Standing outside Belfast's City Hall earlier this week I was delighted to see the Bride and Bride (Shannon Sickles and Grainne Close) arrive late for their ceremony — as tradition dictates.

They made a lovely couple, the bride wore a black shirt with white jacket and the bride wore a white shirt with contrasting black jacket. Both brides sported matching pink floral arrangements. They beamed happily at friends, family and well-wishers as they emerged into the winter sunshine after the brief ceremony which confirmed them as Britain's first wife and wife partnership.

It was not clear who would wear the dungarees but the expectation amongst the cognoscenti is that the usual "toilet seat up or down?" friction of newly-weds will not be an issue. This reporter certainly wishes them every happiness.

Which is more than he can say for the drooling imbeciles who passed themselves off as representing some form of club, or something. Led by the Reverend David McIlveen of the Free Presbyterian Church (presumably the only way they can get members is by waiving the fee) these sad excuses for sentient beings claimed to have a valid opinion on civil partnerships.

I asked the Reverend McIlveen for his opinion on same-sex "marriage" his response was somewhat puzzling. "The bible uses the term 'vile' to describe the sexual act between individuals of the same gender," he told me.

"That is very interesting," I replied, "but I am seeking your opinion."

"I have just given it to you, young man, are you deaf as well as stupid?" he responded.

"No, I'm sorry, you just quoted a book. I am interested in your opinion," I explained.

"That is my opinion," he opined.

"No it isn't," I explained. "It is someone else's opinion which you have read. An opinion is something you are supposed to have thought about. You seem to have found a way to avoid the effort of engaging in independent thought by hiding behind selective readings from the old and new testaments."

"Young man, I didn't come here today to be insulted by you. I came here because I wanted to oppose an affirmation of love between two people — just as Jesus would have done if he were here."

As he turned away I heard him mutter "Sodomite" under his breath. I sincerely hope that he heard me mutter "Wanker" under mine.

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