Al-Qaeda attacks moon

Apollo mission flag destroyed in hate campaign

by Greg Doublewank

It has just been reported by NASA and the USAF that an explosion has occurred on the moon's surface, totally destroying the US flag the Apollo 11 mission planted there in Neil Armstrong's momentous "giant leap".

Our science correspondent, Jocelyn Thrutch was on hand to take a statement from NASA spokesweirdo, Phineus Geek shortly after the explosion was confirmed. "We just can't believe that al-Qaeda would stoop so low as to destroy this irreplaceable monument to the achievement of man," he tearily enthused, "It doesn't represent the United States or Western Capitalist Imperialism in any way," he added "but the spirit of exploration by the human race."

A passing USAF Officer, Colonel Ira D. Killsplattermaim III angrily gave his two cents worth: "I been in Korea, Vietnam, Eyeran, and Eyeraq. I seen all sorts of sh*it, but this really takes the motherfuc*kin' biscuit! What possible military gain have these godless basta*rds made in exploding a dee-vice and destroying the Apollo 11 flag? I can tell you mister, they is now in for a whole World of Sh*it!"

Indeed, military advisors and researchers amongst the Intelligence community are still at a loss to work out why Muslim fundamentalists went to the trouble of firing a missile at the moon to blow up the flag, but are adamant it could only have been the work of Western-hating ragheads.

Meanwhile, amateur astronomer Mr. Abu al-Zaqarwi has brought the Science community's attention to the fact that unprecedented levels of meteoroids, also known as "Taurids" have been peppering the surface of both the Moon and Earth since early November 2005. He has apparently been watching the Moon's surface every night through a telescope and recording the activity of these small metallic meteoroids hitting the surface. With no earth like atmosphere to destroy these small missiles, the moon is constantly bombarded by them and suffers tangible surface damage as a result.

When this fact was put to NASA and other USAF Officers, I was told I was "no scientist or astronomer" and to "mind my own business if I knew what was good for me". With all doors now closed to me at NASA, I approached the British section of the European Space Agency, but they told me they were unavailable for comment apart from "what moon?"

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