Prince Harry to serve 'whatever the risk'

Brave warrior Prince Harry is absolutely committed to joining British forces destined for Iraq no matter what personal danger he puts himself under by doing so. As the rest of those who graduated in Art from Sandhurst prepare to leave for the Middle East, Harry is determined to attend the leaving party at Augustus Top Hat club in South Kensington no matter what the risk.

In a moving interview with Royal reporters a Palace spokesman told movingly of how the Prince would have felt if he had been allowed to speak himself talking about "duty", "a privilege to serve", and "I feel I owe it to my fellow cadets to down a few shots before they leave for their mission Um Qasr and I leave for mine in Klosters".

Harry was unable to speak personally as he was having his photo taken with some benighted children in Africa suffering from AIDS, typhoid, ebola, and the common cold.

However, MoD sources have made it clear that there will be "no favours" for the dashing Prince: "he'll be treated in the same way as any other member of the Royal Family serving in the Army".

So exactly what is and what is not Harry permitted to do now his basic training is complete and he has learnt to wear a cap at a jaunty angle, carry a rifle, and gun down civilians?

What Prince Harry will be allowed to do:

• Wear khaki trousers (with a multi-coloured shirt).
• Beat up photographers outside Mayfair nightclubs.
• Appear in Sunday papers with braying girls.

What Prince Harry will not be allowed to do:

• Be shot at by anyone nasty.
• Go anywhere apart from west London, the Cotswolds or Switzerland.
• Meet any Iraqis.

Previously

• Sandhurst to get second helping of Royalness
• The House of Windsor: Fancy dress or Final Solution?
• Prince Charles' moving D-Day tribute