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  Monday 20th February 2006  World News   Powered by Yeast Logic
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Harvest for the World: Date finally confirmed

Culmination of years of acrimonious negotiation
by Jimmy Juan

Decades of uncertainty were ended last week with the announcement that agriculture ministers representing the vast majority of the world's nations had agreed a date for a harvest for the world. It will take place on 17 September 2008.

The agreement is the culmination of years of painstaking and often acrimonious negotiation between individual countries, international trading blocs and opposing political systems, many of whom wanted a harvest just for themselves or for their friends. Senior civil servants involved in the process privately concede that arriving at a concensus was a nightmare, but one thing above all kept the negotiators at the table: talented pop combo The Christians.

At the most fraught moments of the process when deadlock seemed certain, officials would play The Christians' greatest hit, Harvest For the World, to delegates, and each time the negotiations found a way round the impasse. Observers estimate that the song was played about 3,500 times.

In a heartfelt tribute to author and singer Roger Christian, the chairman of the Agricultural Co-ordination Committee, Rinchhen Dorji, said: "That cun*t's been banging away for years about when will there be a harvest for the world, well now he knows, it's 17th September, ok, so he can shut the fuc*k up."

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