Fears mount over deadly new 'flew' mutations

The federation of leading Scientists, Chemists and (still living) Microbiologists (SCAM) meeting at the World Health Organisation (WHO) today showed concern for the latest incidental increase and mutation of the Aviation Flew Virus. The cause of their alarm was increased by the latest suspicion that the virus showed signs of threatening to transmute into imminent nuclear outbreaks in Israel.

The virus, believed to have escaped from a sealed think tank in America and subsequently found in the UK, has puzzled international scientists and those microbiologist experts (still alive), since the mass human destruction caused by the first virus outbreak which began in Iraq on the 16 January 1991. However most scientists are agreed that the virus’s pathogenic spread is by way of airborne droplets, some of which can weigh many hundreds of pounds.

Unlike the pandemic Avian Influenza Virus, or "Bird Flu", which has been shown to follow the paths of migratory wild birds from South to North and East to West, the Aviation Flew Virus has been puzzling experts in that it overwhelmingly has a pathogenic spread from West to East and North to South. Speaking at the Federation sponsored conference, top WHO scientist, Nasa Fuckwhit, stated that the only common denominator of the areas that had proved so attractive to the virus seemed to be their propensity to hold large reserves of oil.

Addressing the WHO-sponsored conference, Nasa Fuckwhit commented: "When the Aviation Flew Virus drops these dangerous large airborne pathogenic droplets onto a population there are only losers on the ground. From 1991 to 2006 a million and a half people have been killed in Iraq, either directly by the destructive pathogenic nature of the virus or as the result of the droplets which can remain infective in the soil for decades." However, in an open debate with Mohammed Khartoon, WHO’s head of Islamic Relations, he refused to be drawn into conjecture as to the whether the whole Aviation Flew Virus pandemic was a manufactured result of American Bilderberger Neo Conservative foreign policy intervention.

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Previously

• Britain reports first cases of 'Gulf War II™ syndrome'
• Abi Titmuss in al-Qaeda terror ordeal
• Bird flu: 93 per cent of you are going to die