Robert Maxwell 'rode Chelsea pensioners like horses'

Last week, many newspapers published the revelation that prior to his death in 1991, Robert Maxwell was to investigated for murdering an unarmed German civilian in 1945. Maxwell is said to have been well aware that if found guilty, he may well have faced the rest of his life behind bars. Many people have speculated that this supports the theory that he committed suicide by hurling himself off the side of boat — Lady Ghislaine — and wasn't pushed off the side by grinning Mossad agents as had previously been thought.

Confidential documents leaked to The Rockall Times, however, suggest that Maxwell was deeply concerned that proof of the fact that he regularly rode distinguished war veterans like horses was about to be published and he was far more worried about the damage this would do to his reputation, than the fact that he murdered an innocent civilian.

The documents are the minutes of a 1989 meeting that took place between senior staff at the Royal Chelsea Hospital in London, home to the famous Chelsea Pensioners. In return for monthly donations to the hospital, Maxwell was allowed to saddle up pensioners and ride around on them like horses. Maxwell's dislike for elderly people was well known — after all, he famously plundered the Mirror Group's pension fund, leaving thousands of people facing a bleak future — but the new revelations illustrate the true depths of his contempt.

The minutes of the meeting reveal than in return for donations, Maxwell would be allowed to:

• Ride pensioners either bare-back or with saddles
• Gallop them along long corridors
• Ride them over small jumps and water hazards
• Practise dressage routines and exercises
• Ride point-to-point around the hospital grounds
• Hold a once yearly gymkhana

Bertram Trombone (104) was one of the pensioners ridden by Maxwell and was given the nickname "Boxer" by the portly media mogul. Now 108, he comments: "That Maxwell fed me sugar-lumps, saddled me up and rode me like a bloody horse. He even tried to make me whinny and neigh. Hospital orderlies made it clear that there would be no porridge for me in the morning if I failed to do what I was told to do and so I just played along. Mind you, it kept me bloody fit and after a while I quite enjoyed it — especially the dressage.

"In time we managed to get our half-parade off to a fine art — and our flying changes and full passes were coming along nicely. We were even thinking of entering the Horse & Hounds magazine championships. It was only when Maxwell remembered that I was a pensioner and not a real horse that he decided not to — I was quite upset at the time."

Another pensioner, Sidney Arclight (132) added: "Maxwell made me canter around the dining room with him on my back — and me with my rheumatism. I bucked the bugger off a few times and kicked him once or twice — especially when he didn't bring in any carrots."

We attempted to contact staff at the Royal Chelsea Hospital last night but they told us they were expecting the vet and blacksmith around at any moment and asked if we could call back later.

Previously

• Government plays down catastrophic consequences of hunt ban
• Fox hunt ban protestors beaten like dogs
• Rockall to honour Camilla Parker Bowles-Saxe-Coburg