Growing concern at Sol's injury woes

Premier League powerhouse Arsenal are confronting the terrible truth that the ramifications of top defender Sol Campbell's injury problem may be worse than expected.

Since the match at Highbury against West Ham last month that saw the svelte but strongly heterosexual defender withdrawn at half time due to a personal existential crisis, Campbell has failed to feature home or away. Reports in the press on Campbell's fevered mental state have obscured that fact that the team's performance has been radically affected without his muscular presence.

In his place, the Gunners have had to field a series of young and untried replacements — most of whom are pretty well unknown, possess little competitive experience, and are unused to playing on the large stage. The only point in their favour appears to be an inability to fall over in the penalty area when an opposition striker of moderate talent is nearby.

Indeed, in Campbell's absence Arsenal have clearly struggled to achieve a stunning victory over mighty Real Madrid and a comprehensive win against Serie A leaders Juventus. The final humiliation was the narrow 5-0 victory over Aston Villa. But pundits expect all this to change as the so-called Black Pearl races back to peak fitness.

The original medical diagnosis predicted Campbell out until May, but specialists now estimate the lumbering behemoth could be back in as little as a couple of weeks. Insiders insist the virile star is desperate to get back on the pitch and show fans just what they've been missing.

A weary-looking Arsene Wenger told reporters: "Sol will be back when he's ready. He's in for treatment every day but there is an outside chance he may be on the bench for the rest of the season. We can only pray." The man himself refused to talk to media representatives because of what is thought to be his sensitive nature, but a close male friend of Campbell told The Rockall Times: "I'm sick of all the lies told about Sol. He'll turn Arsenal's season around when he gets back in the side."

Previously

• Ferguson-Wenger fight off: Official
• Keeper not yet approached by Gunners speaks of hurt and shame
• Scandinavians cry foul at Euro 2004 match-fixing