Poetry corner: The Illogical Vegetarian

You will find me doing green
like any stoner that you've seen
(not powdering my nose like a Belgravian).
You will find me smoking draw
On a beanbag on the floor,
Because I am a rigid Vegetarian.

So I blazed a joint or two,
then I ran and leapt and flew,
and I landed on the roof of some Bulgarian.
Well, the copper took me down —
but he couldn't make me frown
Because I was a happy Vegetarian.

I get my share of grief
when my friend asks for some beef,
Then rams it down his throat like a barbarian.
The truth is that I'd liefer
get some munch and puff the reefer —
Because I am myself a Vegetarian.

The weed grows on a leaf,
that's on a stalk that's in a sheaf
which makes it good enough to eat for a Fruitarian.
There's no nut or fruit or berry
That could be so very, very,
So very, very very Vegetarian.

Previously

• Poetry corner presents: The Godlies
• Those Rockall Haiku results in full
• Academia rocked by Shakespeare revelation