I’m at work. I’m bored. Make me laugh.

Trawl Rockall for:

So, how do you assault Rockall?

They say there's no substitute for experience, and our Rockall Ho! 2003 adventure certainly gave us plenty of food for thought on the subject of "assaulting granite outcrops in the North Atlantic". To recap, our July 2003 trip to Rockall ended in frustration when the worstening weather conditions thwarted our assault on the sacred rock. Here's a pic of team members Al Baker and Jamie Cambridge preparing to storm Rockall from an inflatable. Storm being the operative word here. If you think it looks like a simple enough prospect, give it a go:

In the end, the Atlantic swell made any sort of landing a semi-suicidal prospect. No matter. We have regrouped, reassembled the team and secured a new vessel in which to travel to the edge of the world. Our skipper this time round will be Ian Trumpess, master of the MV Invincible based at Stromness, Orkney:

Rather agreeably, Ian (that's not him in the photo, btw, just a couple of Orcadian ne'er-do-wells with a penchant for the maritime) and the Invincible have already been to Rockall — albeit on a diving trip rather than a charity jaunt. Accordingly, we are confident that we will be able to get to the world's most isolated islet. And that, of course, is when the fun starts.

Having seen the thing close up, we're now certain that climbing Rockall is not the biggest challenge we face. Rather, it's getting from an inflatable onto the rock, due to an unpleasant wall of slime and seaweed which coats its base. With that in mind, we are concentrating our efforts on putting one man onto Rockall who can then secure all the necessary lines by which the rest of the team can make their ascents.

The plan is pretty simple — get man on islet by any means necessary, including grappling irons, lines throwers and, all else failing, firing him from a cannon. Whatever it takes, we're prepared to spend as long as required to get the job done.

Regarding the subsequent ascent of Rockall, our 2003 plan involved climbing Rockall by route 1 as shown in the snap on the left. We now consider a combination of routes 2 and 3 to be the far better option and not a particularly arduous climb, once you've got yourself onto the bloody thing.

Our Rockall Ho! 2005 adventure runs from 11-24 June 2005, hopefully allowing us a sufficient weather window to get out there, get atop the rock, and get back to Orkney in one piece. If you fancy supporting this this fine adventure in aid of Mental Health Media's MEdia project, we're currently looking for sponsors, and various essential bits and pieces. If you have any questions, contact us at rockall.ho@therockalltimes.co.uk. Constructive advice is always welcome.

There are full details on our chosen charity — MEdia — right here. You can donate now to the Rockall Ho! 2005 charity appeal at our dedicated Justgiving.com page. Funds from UK donors will be boosted by an additional 28 per cent which Justgiving claims back from the Inland Revenue. Good show.

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