I’m at work. I’m bored. Make me laugh.

Trawl Rockall for:

• Internet fingered in sperm donor crisis
  Private conversations with John Thomas rise dramatically

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• Cherie Blair's naked pagan shower sex romps with topless model
  Crystal-wielding witch 'healed' PM's wife in orgy of Bacchanalian lust

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• Man's 11-inch penis is just car substitute, claim friends
  Three attempts to pass driving test, then bought Lada estate

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• Sudan Stan in caprine shotgun wedding
  Caught in flagrante delicto with bride-to-be

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• Lady Macca chewed bacon sandwich while pleasuring landmine salesman on sealskin rug
  Sickening depravity will enrage all right-minded McCartney fans

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• Rowan Raunchbitch's torrid sex tips for red-hot lovers
  This month: The facial

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• Taxing times for the sexually active
  Budget blow for romp-loving Brits

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• Lads: Considering sex with a Breezer-fuelled slapper?
  Click here to avoid embarrassing and inconvenient rape charge

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• Saint Sir Bob Geldof launches 'Jazz Mags For Africa' campaign
  Porn famine 'a foc*kin' disgrace'

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• Revealed: John Leslie's South London sofa shame
  Devil-worshipping former TV presenter's upholstery shocker

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