I’m at work. I’m bored. Make me laugh.

Trawl Rockall for:

• Butcher backs Ferdinand's backing of Rooney
  Former England hero comes out in support of supportive central defender

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• Dynamo Rockall boss denies bung claims
  Tel Redhat mobilises lawyers

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• Rockall launches audacious World Cup 2022 bid
  Arthur 'Big Dick' Scolari in shock move

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• Emperor Mourinho threatens fabric of time and space
  He's gonna blow, warn frantic boffins

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• Serbia and Montenegro head for penalty shoot-out
  Tensions mount amid bitter recriminations

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• US bemoans World Cup exit
  Legal action may follow 'unfair' treatment

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• Germany 1-0 Poland
  Just like the good old days

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• Mighty England crush Paraguay
  World Cup in the bag

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• BBC World Cup team in punishing training schedule
  'A lovely day out' for the punditry Galacticos

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• Rooney on detox road to recovery
  England's footballing fate hangs on colonic irrigation

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