I’m at work. I’m bored. Make me laugh.

Trawl Rockall for:

• Englishman corners China tea market
  'It was a piece of cake', explains tea entrepreneur

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• God up before the beak
  The Almighty lands himself in the dock

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• Government promises extended alphabet by 2004
  Voters to gain 'at least two letters'

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• Rockallians recognised in Queen's Birthday Honours
  Local 'surprised' and 'astounded'

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• Island Republic defies IAEA ruling
  Vows to continue nuclear enrichment programme

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• Man snogs snake, breaks record
  Hot King Cobra tongue action

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• Israel tightens grip on Jordan Valley
  Targets Hamas in mountainous territory

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• Brian May battles for Hebridean hedgehog
  Former Queen demands translocation solution

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• Rockall not volcanic in origin shocker
  'Quite a revelation' admits stunned boffin

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• Rockallians pay homage to St Rupert the Killjoy
  Patron saint's day goes off with a bang

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